On the ninth day of
Christmas, my true love sent to me nine pipers piping…
Dearest
Jonathan, 1-3
Nine pipers
rang my bell this morning, at a most premature hour. I was startled from a
sound sleep by the wailing of their bagpipes. I sent Matilda for another cold
milk poultice. Trent, their maestro, was very understanding of my distress, and
quieted them until a more reasonable time. He has been most courteous, which is
more than I can say of you, Jonathan. Their presence is most highly improper,
but they insisted, and have been tormenting their pipes in my parlor for two
hours now. Jonathan, what must I do? I know they’re friends of yours, but in a
house with unattended women… This is… This is scandalous, Jonathan! Please come. NOW, Jonathan.
Alicia.
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