On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me five gold rings…
My dear Jonathan, 12-30
Thank you so very much for your gift of five gold rings. I wore them all, but couldn’t decide which hand, or which fingers to wear them on, and they caught at my needlework so. But I’ve solved ALL my problems—except for the poor partridge’s dilemma. I pawned the rings and bought birdseed and hired my neighbor’s stableman to build a bird pen and clean my front lawn. The aroma lingers, but I can step outside again now, if I wear my galoshes.